Friday, July 30, 2010

Good match

There is nothing like your husband scoring free passes to a movie and waiting in line in the sun and swollen ankles forever that makes you appreciate how great your relationship really is.

Let me explain.

I knew that going would mean me walking and standing. I knew what I was in for. My husband encouraged me to go find a place to sit and rest while he stood in line, because he is awesome. But the curb ended up being in even more direct sunlight and uncomfortable, so I stood mostly. And tried not to complain or look too miserable. There was a girl (who seemed for all intensive purposes to be a normal middle class gal) in line behind us complaining to someone else about how she was waiting up front because nobody told her that the massive line of people was for the free movie. So she was a little irritated (I understand, but if you don't know, ask) and complaining about it on the phone to her boyfriend who was showing up with their passes. He eventually showed up and man, while he wasn't incredibly patient and understanding, she was something else.

Nothing he said or did was right. She complained about having to stand in the sun (which, ironically everyone else was talking about how it was the perfect temp out, but for pregnant me, means I was sweating). But instead of saying, "Sorry, (for being a b*****) I'm just hot and tired and hungry"....It was a continuous slew of "I can't look at your effing face when you talk because the sun's in my effing eyes.....etc (and continued to chew him out for trying to talk to her instead of asking him nicely to move or something) I'm standing in the effing sun and I'm hot and tired and hungry, so leave me the eff alone." There were a lot more 'effs' (she didn't actually say 'eff'). He suggested that they didn't have to go to the movie. She was angry that he would suggest such a thing because it would fine once they were inside....duh, why would you be so stupid as to suggest something that might help. So while we stood in the now slowly moving line along side of the building that had small spots of shade as you moved, she would stand in the shade, holding up the entire line until the next spot of shade became available. And when she couldn't do that and the people (ie: me) where in the shade right in front of her she complained loudly as if it was my fault she was standing in the sun. In my ear. My hot, pregnant ear.

I am no saint. And I do complain about pregnancy aches and pains. But picture this, I am large, some say very large for 7 months. I am hot always. Sweating. My back hurts. My feet hurt. My feet and ankles are SWOLLEN TO TWICE THEIR SIZE. On occasions such as yesterday, I look like I have elephantiasis. And I am moving in the line letting everyone have their turn in the shade. My husband kept offering ways to help. But I wasn't complaining. I knew that if I wanted to see the free movie, I would have to stand in line. Of course, her boyfriend did show up on a motorcycle with giant tribal tattoos on his arms, and skull face mask and a massive goatee with two lines shaved into it (think hairy dark orange wedges on his chin) and was talking about he hoped there were boobies in this movie. I might find those things annoying too, but you don't have to be his girlfriend, you know. And he seemed by far the nicer of the two.

I'm sure that this girl has plenty of good qualities, somewhere inside, but she was completely unattractive in how she acted. Joel and I went into the movie and quickly separated ourselves from the couple (it just kept going, it was that bad) and instantly gushed about how glad we were to have each other. That neither of us are like that. That when we get upset about silly things we aren't just flat out mean. That we talk about it. That despite the stresses and trials we are dealing with right now, we rarely actually do get upset. And when we do we recognize and acknowledge that we are just stressed or tired, and we take care of each others needs in that moment. I'm getting a little misty just thinking about it. I love that man. And think it is pretty remarkable that while dating and getting married in a relatively short amount of time, having some setbacks and disappointments, as well as expecting a baby so soon, our relationship is fine. That we are perfect for each other.

So be grateful for what you have, because the alternative is often not nearly as awesome.

PS.....Dinner for Schmucks was a pleasant surprise. I haven't laughed that hard in a good long while. And has a good moral. Win! And sorry goatee guy, while there was a scantily clad lady leaving not much to the imagination, no actual boobies. Darn.


Laura said...

Ah, perspective... I love it.

Glad you enjoyed your movie. We haven't seen one in ages!

Chelsea said...

I was wondering about that movie. The previews looked un-promising.

The swollen feet and back ache are all worth it, and try to tell yourself "this is only for another few months!" and take a deep breath.

*it's so weird too after you have the baby and there's no belly there anymore. Get excited for loose, jiggly skin. And, when you take your first post-baby shower, just keep your eyes forward. don't look down. That's my advice.

***you look great by the way!***


Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

I second Chelsea's advice. After you have your baby don't look at yourself naked in the mirror..! Wait at least a couple months post-baby. That's what I did and it's easier that way. :-)

Thank you for your sweet comments on my blogs!!

Stephanie said...

I love how everyone is giving you advice about your post-naked body as though it's private and no one else can read it, but since they started it... agreed no weighing, no looking for a couple months. I promise you it's just depressing and not worth it. Also, take something to the hospital to wear home that fit you the day you went in to have the baby. I made the mistake of taking something that fit at about 6 months pregnant. Didn't fit. You can swell quite a bit from all of the fluids they give you when you are in labor. {Of course you probably know all of this stuff. I'm just trying to spare a dear cousin from experiencing some of the things I did postpartum that most certainly did not help my self-image}.

Everyone has always told me how gigantic I am when I'm pregnant. I'm really glad they share that with me because if they didn't tell me, I might not know and that would be just horrible. I even had someone just recently let me know that they wondered how I would ever loose the weight {which I haven't entirely done} after Owen because I got SOOOOO huge.

That woman sounds like a piece of work. How horrible would that be to live with day in and day out.

Charlotte said...

What I find most surprising about people like that is how often they are completely unaware of how toxic and negative they are.

So glad you and your husband have each other and that you can recognize how special it is!

I'm glad to hear about Dinner For Schmucks. That'll have to go on our Netflix.

plantmyappletree said...

Argh, I just posted such a nice comment and the OpenID at blogger doesn't work currently and deleted all.

I sometimes wonder how people treat the ones they love... or should be loving since they chose to be with them. I am usually self-ironic enough to catch myself when I start nagging and then I can laugh about myself and all is good.

But just think how unhappy this girl makes herself. :-(

Tara said...

For some reason I just saw my previous comment on here and I commented as Stephanie somehow {maybe I was at her house or somethin}. Anywho, that was your dear cousin Tara who had Owen and whom everyone tells is gigantic during pregnancy.

I hope you can endure. I know you can :). The worse the misery in pregnancy, the greater the reward when the baby is born!