Monday, July 19, 2010

Some Jems

Not only has this Summer Fashion Week spurred my drive to actually dress this belly in the manana, but also actually post on my blog more regularly. I have much to share right now in the way of photo shoots and the likes, but alas, that will have to wait until tomorrow. Or the next day. Depending on how productive I am.

But all of the supportive comments about people and their ridiculous pregnancy commentary made me think that I really should be documenting some of these gems. (And I think that maybe I am the only person who always thinks that 'gem' is spelt with a 'j'....I blame Jem and and the Holograms, and their truly outrageous-ness). I don't know if its just my pregnancy, or that in combination with living in Portland, but I've got some great ones. That generally just make me laugh.

So here goes:

-While walking down the street at lunch this guy stopped me
Man: Hey Beautiful! Is it a boy or a girl?!
Me: Its a boy.
Man: (Barks loudly while crouching down and inching closer and closer to my belly)

-Picking up a beverage at McDonalds, these 2 young looking guys with baseball caps seemed to be eyeing me
Guy with the star neck tattoos: So, like, what trimester are you?
Me: Well, I'm just going into the third trimester.
Guy: Yeah, my girls pregnant.
Me: Oh yeah? How far along is she?
Guy: Um, like a couple months, yeah 2 months.
Me: When is she due?
Guy: Uh, October first. (Which happens to be two weeks BEFORE my due date)
Me: Oh, she's more than 2 months, she's in her third trimester.
Guy: (Shrugs shoulders)

-Walking back to work after picking up some lunch, a bright orange car stops to let me cross the street
Man in car: (Sticking his head out the window while holding up accumulating traffic) Any day now, huh?
Me: I'm sorry? (straining to hear)
Man: Any Day Now, Huh?!
Me: What?!
Man: ANY DAY NOW, HUH?!!
Me: (Smiling and waving goodbye) Three more months!

-Little old lady at the temple, walking with a cane, trying to be kind (?) Bless her heart
Lady: (Walks up to me and leans in as if to tell me a secret) Now tell me when you are due...
Me: In October, still have 3 months to go :)
Lady: (Looking at my stomach speculatively and shaking her head) No, I don't think you'll make it till then.
Me: Oh, yeah, well, I have three months to go, my sister gets pretty big as well, people always think she is having
twins. Think I will be the same.
Lady: Nooooo, I don't think so......

(At this point I'm just not sure what she is basing this on. Yes, I have a bigger belly
than some at my stage of pregnancy, but Ive seen bigger for sure.
Does she think my baby is unhealthy, that I have diabetes,
that he's going to be too big? I don't know. People seem to assume
that a big belly means you will have really big babies.
Not necessarily true. All that aside, I was a 10 pounder. But very overdue. My poor mother).

Me: Well, I guess we'll see....(?)
Lady: You know, I raised 10 teenagers....(and continued on a rant of ages and grandchildren and stuff)
....but I wouldn't do it now, nooooo. It used to be you could tell them to sit down and shut up and they
grew up to be good kids, but now it's all (while mockingly holding her head in her hands)
'My psyche is injured, oh no'. (She then gave me this knowing look and just said) No.
Well, give me a hug then. (She hugs me and walks away).


The thing that really has surprised me is that most of the strangers that talk to me about it are men.
I think that one of my favorites was the guy that high fived me in the grocery store. Having a baby is such
a new experience in so many more ways than you'd expect.

And he's not even here yet.


-

7 comments:

Desiree said...

Oh, I am so glad it is you and not me having to face those questions. Enjoy them while they last though and good on ya for writing them down. Also, I have a friend that just did the EXACT same type of post and you both published them at about the same time. I find that funny. Here is the link to her blog:
http://heidiandoliver.blogspot.com/2010/07/commonly-asked-questions.html

Sarita said...

Update: Was just standing on a street corner waiting to cross and a girl rolled down her window and yelled Congratulations! as she sped by.

Charlotte said...

Please continue these types of posts! They are too funny... people say the darndest things. The guy in the orange car was my favorite.

Laura said...

Oh my goodness. Hysterical. I only ever had ONE stranger comment on my belly, and it was also a man.

rachel.lyn said...

hahahaa....this seriously makes me laugh! that first one is extra creepy.
the second one has happened to me on a couple of occasions with some random guy telling me his girlfriend is pregnant too and then starts the awkward conversation...one guy even told me, "yeah, my girl is pregnant too. i'm pretty excited. but it's not mine!" WHAT...how the heck do you even respond to that?!

rachel.lyn said...

and ps- thanks for the compliment on my blog post :) that tori amos song has always made me cry since having my first daughter! being a mother is the best thing in life <3

Chelsea said...

people have to have something to say constantly. I think they think it's their duty to give their two cents. I don't think they realize how crazy the hormones of a pregnant lady can become.

Pushing my way through the grocery store door, trying to hold the barf in my mouth, an older gentlemen said "EXCUSE ME!" as i pushed by him.... I turned around and was SO close to spouting some serious-hormone induced curse words....he's lucky my mouth was full of barf! I may of flipped him off instad,....it's all a haze. I spared him that day. Lucky guy.

I was not the most pleasant pregnant woman. I will admit.

You're taking it all in stride though It seems.