But all of the supportive comments about people and their ridiculous pregnancy commentary made me think that I really should be documenting some of these gems. (And I think that maybe I am the only person who always thinks that 'gem' is spelt with a 'j'....I blame Jem and and the Holograms, and their truly outrageous-ness). I don't know if its just my pregnancy, or that in combination with living in Portland, but I've got some great ones. That generally just make me laugh.
So here goes:
-While walking down the street at lunch this guy stopped me
Man: Hey Beautiful! Is it a boy or a girl?!
Me: Its a boy.
Man: (Barks loudly while crouching down and inching closer and closer to my belly)
-Picking up a beverage at McDonalds, these 2 young looking guys with baseball caps seemed to be eyeing me
Guy with the star neck tattoos: So, like, what trimester are you?
Me: Well, I'm just going into the third trimester.
Guy: Yeah, my girls pregnant.
Me: Oh yeah? How far along is she?
Guy: Um, like a couple months, yeah 2 months.
Me: When is she due?
Guy: Uh, October first. (Which happens to be two weeks BEFORE my due date)
Me: Oh, she's more than 2 months, she's in her third trimester.
Guy: (Shrugs shoulders)
-Walking back to work after picking up some lunch, a bright orange car stops to let me cross the street
Man in car: (Sticking his head out the window while holding up accumulating traffic) Any day now, huh?
Me: I'm sorry? (straining to hear)
Man: Any Day Now, Huh?!
Man: ANY DAY NOW, HUH?!!
Me: (Smiling and waving goodbye) Three more months!
-Little old lady at the temple, walking with a cane, trying to be kind (?) Bless her heart
Lady: (Walks up to me and leans in as if to tell me a secret) Now tell me when you are due...
Me: In October, still have 3 months to go :)
Lady: (Looking at my stomach speculatively and shaking her head) No, I don't think you'll make it till then.
Me: Oh, yeah, well, I have three months to go, my sister gets pretty big as well, people always think she is having
twins. Think I will be the same.
Lady: Nooooo, I don't think so......
(At this point I'm just not sure what she is basing this on. Yes, I have a bigger belly
than some at my stage of pregnancy, but Ive seen bigger for sure.
Does she think my baby is unhealthy, that I have diabetes,
that he's going to be too big? I don't know. People seem to assume
that a big belly means you will have really big babies.
Not necessarily true. All that aside, I was a 10 pounder. But very overdue. My poor mother).
Me: Well, I guess we'll see....(?)
Lady: You know, I raised 10 teenagers....(and continued on a rant of ages and grandchildren and stuff)
....but I wouldn't do it now, nooooo. It used to be you could tell them to sit down and shut up and they
grew up to be good kids, but now it's all (while mockingly holding her head in her hands)
'My psyche is injured, oh no'. (She then gave me this knowing look and just said) No.
Well, give me a hug then. (She hugs me and walks away).
The thing that really has surprised me is that most of the strangers that talk to me about it are men.
I think that one of my favorites was the guy that high fived me in the grocery store. Having a baby is such
a new experience in so many more ways than you'd expect.
And he's not even here yet.