Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Domestic Goddess

Sunday: After church I mentioned to a guy that I felt like a Stepford wife in my dress and red heels. Something akin to this one. But with sleeves, and a lower neck line, and this darling wrap around sash that ends in the sweetest bow on the side......well, he didn't know what that was so I elaborated. See, Stepford wives are robots programmed to do their husbands bidding. He looked confused. I's the whole 50's ideal of the homemaker, but gone wrong. Perfect darling dresses and no mind of their own. They live to cook and clean and please. So you want to be ordered around he asked still looking confused. Yes, that is exactly what I want.

Monday: Nic had a super duper open house dealio at the IM Flash compound for friends and family. So of course she brought her friend's AND family. Or her domestic partners. That's right. We ate snow cones and did purchase order's for candy, wore booties and hair caps to look at the clean area and saw how memory is made. All while Nic conducted her tour (she is a very good tour guide by the way) and even kept an eye on Em and me. I mean, she was explaining something to other part of our tour when we passed the sign that said 'grinding in process' and looked back mentioning that no photos were allowed. She didn't even have to hear Emily urging me to take a picture with my phone. She just knew. THAT good.

Also on Monday, I walked myself up to the Smiths and visited the cute pharmacist. We chatted per usual and he was charming and attentive and told me that my drugs would be ready in about 10-15 minutes. So I walked around the grocery to purchase a few items. Ran into the new girl from our ward who I greeted with a big smile. Meandered and wandered a bit, and then realized that my shirt had popped open and I was flashing all of the produce section and I don't know who else. I'm classy.

Tuesday: Work party and Bee's baseball game. Almost scrapped the idea completely seeing as how, 1) I spend all day with work people as much as I love them, and 2) I find baseball more or less a bore. So pretty much would equate to forced conversation, food I cant eat, and boredom. Did I mention that sometimes I have a bad attitude? Well i got talked into attending at least the food portion of the evening (which wasn't bad after all). So Emily and I arrive and the office manager announces that Em has arrived with her date. To which we reply, 'domestic partner Phil, domestic partner'. We also ended up sitting at a table all by ourselves, and nobody seemed to want to join us for some time which only solidified our suspicion that the office finds us strange. Mr. Swapp however did visit us at what he dubbed the eligible bachelorette table. So there you have it folks. I am eligible. It's official.

That's my week thus far.


Sallee said...

so the eligible baccalaureate table. Is that because you were handing out free degrees or is that because you're the most educated and charming of the bunch? I'm going to assume it's the latter.

Sarita said...

Ha, I obviously went through the spell check too fast. Why do people only comment when I make embarrassing mistakes?

Rachel said...

I have been DYING for an update. Thanks. I'm sure the produce section was grateful. Just like when I taught a two-hour class to two 16 year old boys with my fly down. Class must run in the family.

Potcherboy said...

I'm sure the attractive pharmacist was also grateful for the aforementioned flashing.