Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Worst Story Teller Ever

That's me. And it's not news to me either. I have been for as long as I can remember. And my family will attest to the fact. I leave out pertinent details, lose my train of thought, and bring up the most non sequitur (latin for does not follow for those you unaware) topics in conversations. I don't know why, but that is just me. And you love me for it. You know you do.

It has been semi recently brought to my attention that I may or may not have a tendency to bring up the most depressing issues and stories as well. If you have a story to tell, I have a like one, but when the puppy saves it's owner from the fire in MY story...................the puppy dies. And then the owner goes into a deep depression and commits suicide. Yeah, that is pretty much how it works. Not only that but I will bring it up in such a nonchalant matter that the tragic ending takes everyone but surprise and a little befuddled and confused. Ask my friends, they will tell you. In fact, I can hardly get two words out anymore without interruption as they all assume the worst from my anecdotes. And feel that the fact needs pointing out. So that I never actually finish anything I'm trying to share with my dear dear friends. They think it's funny. So do I. I'm a lover, not a fighter. So I don't mind so much. Plus, I'm used to it. My family mocks my story telling in a very like manner. I can't win. Ah well. I will just pull my hoodie over my head in embarrassment and frustration while everyone laughs at me. I can take the heat, I will take it bashfully, but I handle it all the same. I'm a good sport and no one can prove otherwise.

Others however, may get frustrated inside 2 minutes of the same hazing, flip us off and storm into the other room. I'm just saying......

Did I mention that my yellow bike is named Lemona? Which sounds kinda like melanoma? Which is really ironic seeing as how it has SUN painted across the frame. And riding it this summer will probably give me skin cancer.


In other news: Saw on the way to work today the most pathetic little red car ever. Tiny beat up two door, almost clown car looking, with a license plate that said IH8MATH. Now that is a man after my own heart. It kinda made my day.

I actually have a lot of respect for people who are good at those maths. I, however, have a little thing that I have diagnosed as number dyslexia. It's a pretty serious condition. Especially when it comes to remembering things like your phone number, or social, or pin number. That can be problematic (so I've only forget them on rare occasion. Don't laugh. They say that Number Dyslexia is the highest killer of domestic felines).


Danny said...

I was wondering how you would spell that. I am sorry we did not let you finish that story the other day. I am sure it was uplifting.

Sarita said...

Yes, that was a toughy. Please note how I put to use not only the astrix, but also the underscore.