Joel and I finally attended our first (of 5) Preparation for Birth classes this week. (Our first attempt didn't take, they had no record of us signing up. Lame.) And it was more enjoyable than I anticipated. Educational for sure. But mostly, the instructor is like something out of a Saturday Night Live sketch. I'm thinking.....played by Kristen Wiig. Slightly neurotic, spastic movements, exaggerated emphasis on things including an exaggerated lean forward and her wrists (not her hands) on her hips, and canned humor (I'm pretty sure she's been telling the same awkward jokes that nobody laughs at for the last 15 years that she's been doing this). She also knows her stuff, so not knocking her performance, in fact it makes things a tad more interesting. Aside from her demo of the baby emerging from her knitted uterus replica, I think our favorite was when she placed her hand firmly on her nether regions when demonstrating where some labor pains start and then leaving it there for some 10 minutes as she moved on to other topics. There are some other characters in there as well (though none raised their hand saying 'hold up-how does the milk get in the boob?' like in my boss's class). There is some great material for an Office-esque mockumentary in there. Of course this is how Joel sees the world: as possible material for tv or movies. Or his friend's stand-up comedy.
In other news, the baby is due in 6 weeks and while I am definitely uncomfortable at this point, I am also freaking out at the prospect of him actually arriving. The actually birthing (which I think is a wonderfully awkward word, don't you?) doesn't scare me. I'm happy in my naive bliss. And know myself and if I start thinking about it too much, it will be anxiety city, so I'm just going with the flow (and working on relaxation techniques in the meantime). The baby on the other hand? THAT'S scary. Can't wait to meet him, but scared out of my mind. To be perfectly honest, I'm awkward (I think I've used that word like five times already) around newborns. At least I feel that way. Not sure how the babies feel. I think it has to do with being afraid of breaking someone else's fragile infant in front of them. I'm sure it will be different with my own, at least I'm sure that I will learn. It just feels odd to me seeing as how my sisters have been doing this stuff for years, and at 30, I still am unsure what to do when they start crying.....(the babies, not the sisters).
It's kind of silly really, because, yes, I have taken care of nieces and nephews. I've fed them, clothed them, soothed them, play with them, put them to bed (unsuccessfully most of the time). But I do much better having impromptu dance parties with toddlers. As far as I know, day old babies aren't too keen on dancing. But I could be wrong.
So here's to figuring this whole parent thing out.