I woke up earlier than usual this morning refreshed and ready to take on the week. Despite the fact that I'm a little under the weather and despite the fact that we are down to the last 3 days of the month. Which at my work world equates to stress. The sun was (almost) shining (it was early, but I knew it was coming), birds were (soon to be) chirping, and I had a distinct feeling that things were going to be alright. What exactly? I don't know. But you know that feeling were things are just cool? Like you can take on the world if it really came down to some kind of apocalyptic scenario where it was you against the world? And the world was maybe a bunch of zombies, and your only friends are a bunch of freaky mannequins? Yeah, I feel like I could deal with that if I had to. Which is saying a whole lot for me because I hate zombies. Almost as much as I do mannequins. That's what it was. And sure enough, it is a beautiful day, and things are going well.
Anyway. At church yesterday someone spoke on the importance of record keeping, namely journals. Something that I have never been great at. I pretended to sometimes, but I always felt I was writing into the Nothing in the Never Ending Story and my words would mean about as much. And I like to write! Crazy I know! It's cathartic, etc. I even carry around a notebook to jot stuff down in from time to time, but it's never anything that cognitive. I started to write about journaling during the talk in church, but decided that was lame, and so wrote a to-do list for this week instead. That was my actual thought process. So yes, I hate writing in anything I might call a journal. Not to mention that I have a genius sister when it comes to the written word. She has stacks of filled journals. I would never match up to her, so I kinda left my journaling by the wayside. I blame you Rachel. :)
But, I do blog. So I started thinking about the pros and cons of blogging versus actual journals and this is what I came up with:
Blogging pros: People actually read what I am expressing sometimes and comment, which validates the expressing of it. Instant gratification is where I am at apparently. It is also an excellent way to share my life, thoughts, feelings, joys, sorrows, inadequacies, and quirky life observations with those I love, and those I don't know. The idea of writing into this great abyss that is the world wide web is somehow liberating. A way to share myself with others in a way I may struggle to otherwise. Because I am reserved dammit (some people may negate this fact but I I'm holding to it). And instead of being consumed by the great nothing, they are instead being consumed by other people, that may relate, or empathize, or laugh, or roll their eyes. It's real. It's now. It's happening people.
Cons: Well, there is the idea that one might not express their deepest fears and hopes and aspirations and crushes and disappointments on such an open forum. But the thing is, I don't care so much. I am pretty brutally honest about how I feel here. The only thing I might hold back are the super girly things like I wrote in my first entry of my first diary that was pink with purple hearts and a little lock..... such as
"I love Bradley Harmon and he loves me except he acts like he hates me when Justin McDonald comes over".
Bradley and I shared something special. We played He-man and She-ra together. And he had the Skeletor castle. But he and Justin would sometimes throw stuffed animals at me and it would break my little heart. No matter. Brad is now married with twins and his sisters will probably read this too. No matter, our sisters used to ride their bikes around taunting us while we walked down the street in between our houses. Their bikes that they would pretend were pegasuses, pegasi? See, no holding back. I'm hardcore. Some may even call me a bad ass.
Journal pros: No one gets to read the embarrassing things I write.
Journal cons: I get bored, and nobody ever reads the embarrassing things that I write.
I was informed last night, however, that my blog does not count as a journal unless I print all my posts out and put them in a binder. So maybe I will then. Or maybe, just maybe, I will get them spiral bound because I am a rebel like that. No conformity here.