Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Dear Diary Part Deux

So, with all the thoughts on diaries and the content that I may or may not include here on the bloggity blog blog blog, I thought some mushy girl stuff might be in order. Because I'm never girly. Ever. So that you all don't miss out on these treasures, I decided to chronicle the evolution of Sarah's crushes. See, I'm not a big crusher. Oh I crush, but it takes awhile for me to crush on someone and I'm picky about my crushes. And I'm going to stop saying that word.

Bradley: Yes, the first I can remember. We moved to Clovis, CA right before kindergarten and the Harmons lived down the street. The Harmons that would prove to be a permanent installation in the lives of the Jones girls. Britten was just in between Jess and Rachel's ages, Breena and Christina were babies, and Bradley and I were the same age. We played He-man and She-ra. His He-man action figure would save my She-ra from the evil Skeletor. And our sisters would taunt us. We got older and the boy girl dynamic drew us apart while our sisters remained tight. Plus, I was painfully shy. His house was still our second home, Brad and I just didn't really talk. We are grownups now and we're cool. And I still love his family.

DJ: If I remember correctly, he was the football star of our 6th grade class. Yes, the Clovis School District is a competitive one and has all sports starting in elementary school. All the popular girls loved him too. I never actually talked to him. He had red hair. And I don't know what happened to him after Mickey Cox Elementary. I imagine that he is off somewhere living in his 6th grade football glory days. I never again fell for a football player.

****I seem to have blocked junior high from my memory. All I remember was this short boy who liked me and was super nasty*****

Robbie: The summer before my Freshman year I met him at my friend Logan's birthday party. (Oh wait, I liked Logan's friend Travis in 8th grade, I forgot). Robbie was going to be a sophomore and had floppy hair and cool plaid pants. I gave Logan a glowworm as a gift (as in the stuffed glow worm with the glowing plastic head of my youth) because I'm weird. I was still quiet. Robbie walked past me on the porch as I was leaving and kissed me on the cheek and ran off. I was twitterpatted. This was the start of three years of awkward conversation with him and nothing ever happening. He randomly gave me this shirt of his junior year because I was cold. And told me to keep it. It smelled like Robbie.

David: Starting hanging out with some of us girls randomly my sophomore year. He was 2 years older than me and we were best buds. I talked to him a lot about Robbie. Someone finally pointed out to me that he either was in love with me or gay. And then I saw him differently. And then I got awkward. He was cute.

Josh: A musician, a little bit of a rebel with crazy curly hair. He always told me that he would go back to church for me. And wanted to take me on my first date when I turned 16. It freaked me out. I saw him on my last day of school junior year before I moved. He wrote in my yearbook that he would come find me in Vegas and we would get married in the chapel of love or the temple. My choice.

Stephen: He was cute and kinda manly. Sat at my chemistry table and offered to teach me how to make some sort of drug. I didn't know about those things so I ignored him. He taught me to play my first song on the guitar. Nirvana's come as you are. That's a toughy.

Kevin: Summer before my senior year, we moved to Henderson, NV and went on my grandpa's "Back East Trip". A church history trip for 2 stakes full of seminary students. Kevin was on my bus. He was a cute soccer and volleyball player. I was quiet and didn't know anyone but my cousins and other family who help on the trip. We ended up at the same high school. He took me to homecoming and then made me a tape of his bands 3 songs. The third was "Sarah's Song". His voice cracked. It was sweet. That night I totally rejected him over the phone because I didn't know what to do. So lame. At the end of the year we finally kissed.

That's where I'm stopping. But you get the picture. I crushed hard, but in a weird way. See, I wasn't into the idea of dating back then. I thought the people who had boyfriends and thought they were going to marry them were idiots. Because we were just kids. I had a mature mind for my age. In some ways. Perhaps it was just a coping mechanism because I was shy and thought that guys wouldn't be interested in me. Seriously, any of the boys mentioned above, I never thought they were interested until much after the fact when friends pointed it out to me. I'm dense apparently. That comes as no surprise.


LuLuBelle said...

I cracked up when I read your journal entry of long ago about BH. I remember it (you must have shown it to me, cuz I wouldn't have read your journal without permission) I admired your confidence at the time.

It's comforting to know that when I die and my girls go through all my stuff, you'll read my journal, my one small journal, and understand why it is so badly written. I tried. I did record births and things except maybe for Christina's. I guess it's not too late to catch up.

List making has been my goal in the last few years. Like a list of all the things I found inside my 17 year old couch. That was a journal of sorts. I need to make more lists. That I can do. Constructing complete, meaningful sentences is a daunting task for me.

Sarita said...

I love your lists Mother. I will forgive your small journal if you will update your blog more often.

Im just sayin.