Monday, December 10, 2007
Dunder-Mifflin: Lehi Branch Xmas Party
Some of you may have heard stories about my office's own little Michael Scott. If you have no idea who Michael Scott is (of the Office), then I pity your poor poor soul. And some of you may have laughed and humored me in feigning belief in the veracity of my claims (all the while thinking, yeah right, like that ever really happened). Well, I am here to tell you the stories are true, and thanks to our annual Christmas party and a couple of dapper dates (who were such good sports) I now have witnesses to confirm that one can not, in fact, make these things up.
So, I will do my best at presenting a good case for myself, since I do work at a law firm. (But keep in mind that I am in no shape or form an attorney, or of formal legal training. You want me to take pretty pictures however, and I know my stuff).
Exhibit A: The days and weeks preceding the party, several members of the office were pulled into secret meetings wherein the presents that santa was going to deliver to them (as a surprise) were explained and the reactions orchestrated. In fact, pretty much everything was orchestrated. One coworker, Em, who brought the second dapper date (I know you were thinking "good job Sarah! Two dates!", so sorry to disappoint you, I only had one....who was great, don't get me wrong), was told initially that she would be receiving a blow up boyfriend. She was later called into "Michael's " office and was told she would receive the E Rod Icator (now do me a favor and say that out loud, slowly....without knowing the spelling. Yeah, it's as bad as you are thinking). She was speechless. It turned out to be Nerf artillery that launched darts at our supervisor Rod.
Exhibit 2: Now I had this fear that for some reason, our lil Micheal was going to be on good behavior that evening and make me look like a big fat liar. My fear was unfounded. When we arrived, during the social hour, Michael was standing nearby and and the first words I heard out of his mouth was a warning to a co-worker not to be dancing on his tables (which actually belonged to the church seeing as how it took place in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building). He moved on to introduce himself to our dates, reveal that he knew that they were brothers, ask if that was legal, and ask Em if this was a blind date for her. He then warned us not to get too crazy, wherein Danny Boy grabbed Michael's tie and straightened it for him commenting that it looked like he was already getting a little crazy. Michael replies, and I quote, "Well, that's just from all the girls pulling on my tie trying to kiss me already."
Exhibit Z: The evening progressed with mentioning of a women's non-existent "unofficial engagement for over 8 months" to her boyfriend who was present. And how she wants a ring on her finger. A ring was pulled out, and a married man half her age proposed to her (with a fully scripted speech) on one knee. I found out this morning that Michael actually tracked down her BF's contact info one day when he brought her lunch, and asked him to do the proposal personally, suggesting that it would be better if he could make it real (he kind of thrives on the dramatic). Boyfriend declined. I don't understand why one would not accommodate such a request. I mean, not plan your engagement (impending or otherwise) around this major event? Rude.
And then there was the expected calling out of a female employee and asking how much she weighed, the knighting of an employee to the dark side complete with star wars music and authentic Darth Vader helmet and light saber, etc, etc, etc, and don't forget the show tunes dramatically sung by a character not unlike Dwight with a touring of the room, and many theatrics. And the other coworkers who made wonderful comments such as the pleasantly surprised "Oh Sarah, you finally found someone taller than you.....". It was a magical evening to say the least.
Like I said, you can't make this stuff up. And like I said, the dates were good sports. Schmoozing with the best of them. And even kinda catching me when I slipped in the snow. 3 inch heels and blizzards don't mix all that well. (By the way, I totally planned it that way. I did. I can like to orchestrate things too).
So thanks guys. From Em and myself. Check in for more Michael updates. Or better yet, comment with your favorite memories from the evening. I know that there are many.