Thursday, September 07, 2006

Top Ten Reasons It Pays Off To Be Female

I'm serious. I'm thinking there are benefits in any gender, or rather either gender (unless you can think of more than two, off the top of my head.....I've got female and male). So why not be candid in such respect?

10. While waiting to return V for Vendetta at Red Box for what seemed like ages* (while a certain gentleman cruised nonchalantly through the choices several times, finally deciding on National Lampoons Dorm Daze, which I shouldn't mock because I'm sometimes self conscience about others viewing my options.) the guy just ahead of me (who had been waiting even longer than myself) insisted that I go first while flashing his pearly whites. And I did not decline. I know, I should not use my feminine wiles to such an advantage, but I was in a big hurry people.

* ages = 20 minutes, still can't believe I waited that long

9. I get to look pretty.

8. I get serenaded while in line at Cafe Rio......sometimes.

7. I'm pretty sure the guys in the car next to me that yelled hello and whistled would not be quite so friendly were I male.

6. I like having the element of surprise when I say something brilliant, dashing to pieces ones preconceived notions that I am ditzy and shallow due to the color and nature of my hair.

5. I like to fulfill ones preconceived notions when I say or do something completely feather brained, because deep down, I am a people pleaser, and hate to disappoint.

4. I like pointy shoes, and would rather ridiculous wearing them were I not female.

3. Makeup is fun. How often to men get to play dressup? I think that's why Halloween was invented.

2. Having slightly long nails come in very handy. Seriously, I often wonder how men manage with such stubby fingers. I find the lack of them a handicap. I also find long long nails disgusting (personal preference) and a handicap as well seeing that they just break. And breed bacteria. But men should have neither slightly long or long long nails unless they have some really good use for them....like a drug habit.....which who am I kidding, they should quit anyway. I've never been through the 12 steps but am pretty positive that trimming ones nails is step numero uno.

1. The fact that I throw like a girl is perfectly justified.

Okay, so I originally thought I would come up with some more brilliant insights, but this was just off the top of my blond head.

4 comments:

LuLuBelle said...

You made me laugh and I really needed to laugh. Thank you for being so brilliant and funny.

Britten said...

She is brilliant and funny, isn't she?! :) *pats Sarah's blonde head*

Yes, I would have to agree with all those, except I wish I could keep my nails long. I bite mine so I have male nails, but definitely not male fingers so I guess I'm okay....I have dainty fingers. If I were a man I'd have "mouse-hands" according to my mother.

beans said...

definitely better to be a woman. we get to experience more cooler things in life. Ya, "mouse-hands"...not so good in a male...watch out for those in Utah, Sarah!

Mikie said...

Yeah, definitely better to be woman. errr....

So, I was going to say that in Korea guys wore pointy shoes, but I think my memory makes them pointier than they were. They were definitely very pointy by my standards, though. Sometimes I had a difficult time knowing for sure if they were guys, at least when i first got there. Yikes.