Thursday, March 22, 2007

I will be home then

I'm hitting a crossroads of sorts. It's a little bit crazy. When I sit back and look at it I realize that millions of people make these changes all the time and it's pretty dang normal, but it feels rather monumental to me. Perhaps the changes all at once, or just the happenings of the last week or so have concentrated the effect it has on me, perhaps not.

Yes, there is the car accident that people are probably sick of hearing about and frankly I am sick of talking about. I was officially diagnosed with whiplash yesterday (who knew that could happen?) and it was pretty interesting to look at my x-rays compared to what my spine should look like. Classic whiplash apparently. But the physical therapy should help alleviate the discomfort and flat out pain not to mention the fact that they have a massage therapist that I just might have to enlist as well.

I'm getting my settlement for the car which will mean I will be purchasing a vehicle for the first time in my life (if you don't count the $1.oo that I bought sad little turbo for from my parents, or at least for the title). It makes me feel all grown up. As I should seeing as how taxes are almost due and I will be turning 27. Apparently grown ups make car payments.

A stranger complimented me on my jeans yesterday. That's the 3rd time. I guess they were a good purchase. In my interview I had last week, the interviewer ended by noting that I was very charming, and I thanked him. I met with my attorney yesterday and he pretty much offered me a job after this all gets wrapped up. I realize that I make a good first impression. I'm good at smiling anyway. Charming. Sometimes I wonder if that's all I am to people. And to some I think it's true. Others know better. Really not sure if that means I'm not actually charming or that there is more depth than some might assume at first. You be the judge.

I'm moving in May. Did I tell anyone that? Only a few blocks, but still. I leave my current situation with a bittersweet aire but it will be a good change for me. I love the house and the darling people that I will be living with. I love that there is no tv, and how they spend their Saturday mornings riding their bikes to the farmers market. I'm told I have to have a cruiser to live there. It's the law. I'm excited to adopt this into my lifestyle this summer. Does that make me unoriginal, giving up my obsessive television watching and taking up the bicycle because of a new living situation? I decided no. We are a sum of the people we meet and experiences we have (at least in part). Good and bad. Not that we have no control, because we do. We decide who to let influence us and who not. All be it subconsciously at times. I think it's a lovely process. Can't wait to start reading more. I have already started as I have been sorta restless lately and can't turn my mind off in front of the tele like usual. So what if it's been my Real Simple and photography magazines? I also am reading the book by Elder Maxwell that the RS president gifted me with my new calling and can't wait to tackle the large stack of books I have been meaning to pour over for some time now.

My life seems all surreal at the moment, and I think it has everything to do with getting knocked off my routine. As difficult and painful as it may be, I think it's a good thing. Don't get me wrong, it's not all lollipops and daisies. My parents along with more wonderful family are coming tonight for a wedding tomorrow, and every time I think, talk, write about it, my eyes well up in relief and joy. Sometimes all you need is a hug from those who know you the best. How you have grown, who you really are, and what you can become. If I can just get through today in my new stark white box of an office that is stifling my creative and frankly suffocating me into lifelessness, I will be good. I haven't put anything up on my walls in here out of protest, apathy, and the fact that I don't plan on staying. Until tonight then.


Rachel said...

As Grandma Birrell would say, I'm sending you a hug over the computer. For me just as much as you! I miss my sister.

Sarita said...

As I do mine. That GRandma Birrell might just be the sweetest person alive.

Thanks Rach, love you bunches.

Mikie said...

Great post, Sarah. I identify on a number of levels. It's amazing how life can seem the same for so long and then in a short period of time things just start to change like crazy and soon it's almost a totally different life. Ride the roller coaster that it is ;) It's awesome.

"Does that make me unoriginal, giving up my obsessive television watching and taking up the bicycle because of a new living situation? I decided no."

Awesome, seriously. What you decide is what really matters. I've heard it said that when the voice on the inside is louder and more clear than the voices on the outside, then you've mastered your life. Being Sarah doesn't mean conforming to anyone's idea of Sarah but your own, you're in the driver's seat ;) I really do get a charge out of seeing the change. Keep on embracing it!

Anonymous said...

I personally listen to Destiny's Child when I'm feeling whiplashed.. about life. Do you need a Destiny's CD? Stay strong sister. Keep it real, my little childhood buddy ol pal.
Your childhood buddy ol pal Laura
P.S. If cruiser bikes and no tv appeals to you PLUS you quit your job AND are at a crossroads, perhaps it's time to consider a move to the beach cruiser capital of the world. Santa Cruz, CA. Residence of yours truly.